The Book That Is Saving My Life: A Quest to Defy Medical Odds

Robert Grobler Author

I Survived the Fight Against Cancer. Now I will defeat Kidney Failure

The Working Title of my first book is:

Mayhem in Alexander's Mind

My first book is about a German soldier, Alexander, captured in the Second World War by the SAS (British Special Forces) during the desert campaign in Egypt. The book charts his journey from staunch Hitler supporter to his change of heart and quest for redemption.

Please support my

GoFundMe Campaign

I have started a GoFundMe Campaign to cover the cost of printing, publishing and marketing my book. The link below takes you to the GoFundMe Page where you can donate if you would like to support my cause.

My Diagnosis

The Stages of Kidney Failure

The chart shows the stages that lead to kidney failure. This is measured in a blood test. An eGFR of 60-90 shows good to reasonable health, as shown in G1 and G2. Stage G5 shows an eGFR of 15 or lower, which means permanent kidney damage. My eGFR is currently 13. In essence, it means I have 13% kidney function left.

How it all started

Let's go Way Back

Twelve years ago, I was diagnosed with rectal cancer. I made a choice then: it would not defeat me. I fought, and I won. But victory was bittersweet. There was collateral damage from a surgery to my bladder and urinary tract. Not only that, but the biopsy showed that there was no longer any cancer, and that the operation was unnecessary.My bladder never fully recovered. In 2021, under the crushing weight of work stress, I went 48 days without eating while still working full-time. I lost 25 kg in weight; my body began to buckle. While in the hospital, I got a bladder infection that remained untreated. My bladder continued to deteriorate after that until May 2024, when my kidney function plummeted to just 5%. That is an eGFR of 5. Look at the chart above for the stages of kidney failure.
Today, I am on a transplant list and face the threat of dialysis. That will take place 3 times a week and last for 4 hours. It will disrupt my career significantly. Remember, I started writing for therapy, and I do it only as a hobby in my spare time now. So, I want to prove that I can heal myself. I know that is a bold claim, but please bear with me. I will return to this subject.
The problem is, there is no easy fix for the bladder. There is no obstruction that the doctors can detect with scans. Even so, they want to do a prostate operation, which will cause permanent incontinence. I cannot live with that humiliating burden. If they don’t ‘fix’ the bladder, then they cannot do the kidney operation. It’s the very definition of a catch-22. Much as I appreciate the ongoing care and support I receive from the medical team, I want to retain control over my destiny, and I believe I know how to heal myself.

A new beginning

Becoming the Accidental Author

In April 2024, I sat down to watch SAS Rogue Heroes on the BBC iPlayer. Something in that story of grit and defiance sparked a fire in me. I began to write a novel. What started as a therapeutic hobby quickly revealed a deeper truth: I had been preparing for this my whole life.
Over the last five years, I have poured over two million words into journals, trying to heal childhood trauma. When I began this novel, my unconscious mind took the wheel. I realised I wasn't just writing fiction; I was uncovering the suppressed secrets of my own mind. I was using my imagination to unlock the doors that trauma had bolted shut.
I discovered that when you write your own story and make yourself the hero, you stop being a victim. But it is more than that. It can lead to healing, because we learn to process childhood trauma in a new way.

A Bold Mission:

Making Medical History

I am making a bold claim: I will make medical history. Since I began this book, my kidney function (eGFR) has already improved from 5 to 13. My mental landscape is transforming, and my body is following. But for the healing to be complete, I need support. I need the money to get the book published to the widest possible audience. I cannot do it alone.
On the surface, my book is about the Second World War, but the underlying story is about my personal internal conflict. A conflict that decimated my health. Therefore, *I have proof that my physical problems stem from an internal mental war of attrition. In other words, the cause is mental, and the effect is physical. That’s why I say all my illnesses are psychosomatic.
So, by telling my own story in the form of a novel, I begin to heal the inner conflict, and I believe this process will lead to physical healing as well. But why do I believe? Is it just unshakable faith, or is there a scientific basis for it? It is both, insofar as I have an unshakable faith in the process, based on scientific principles. These principles are not generally recognised by scientists, but I walk my own path. It boils down to this: I believe I have proof that my dysfunctional mind is the cause of the physical illness. Therefore, what a sick mind causes, a healthy mind can cure

Now is the time to act

Where is the proof?

I have a long way to go before I can provide scientific proof that others will accept. For now, I am my own physics experiment. Suffice to say, the stakes could not be higher. If my experiment fails, I die. If it succeeds, I fully regain my health. As time goes on, I will publish articles on my website explaining how my experiment works and what my scientific hypothesis is. There is an awful lot to explain. At present, I am writing fragments of articles, but I am a bit scatterbrained, so I will, over time, do more in-depth research and analysis on my notes as they accumulate.

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My Goal is to reach the minds of 3,000 Readers with my book

I am raising funds to publish this work and share my "Healing process" with the world.
• The Mission: Get this book into the hands of 3,000 readers.
• The Purpose: To prove that processing trauma through narrative can physically heal the body.
• The Invitation: By supporting this campaign, you aren't just helping a writer; you are becoming a witness and a participant in a miracle. Although I don’t call it a miracle. I believe it is a scientific process taking place.
I have found the map to my recovery. Help me print it.For a full explanation, please click the link below.